Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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