I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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