Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize