I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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