I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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