I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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