Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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