At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize