Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
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Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
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It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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