i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
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I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have already put on my inside pants.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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