Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize