Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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