She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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