After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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