I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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