My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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