we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
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His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wear drunk well.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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