You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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