real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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