i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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