his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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