i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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