she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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