I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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