I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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