If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
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Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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