today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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