NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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