Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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