she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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