If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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