im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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