He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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