I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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