Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize