6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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