why didn't you poke me back
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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