Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize