god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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