This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize