I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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