Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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