I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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