i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize