One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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