New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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