i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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