We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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