New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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