I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize