think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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