oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize