you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize